About Us
Welcome to Cheap RAMβ’ β The Internet's Most Fictional Computer Hardware Retailer!
Our Story
Founded in 2026 (in the past tense, since we don't actually exist), Cheap RAM emerged from the dreams of 67 team members who collectively exist only in the digital realm. We started with a simple mission: to sell RAM that we don't have to customers who need it.
Our Mission Statement (That We Made Up)
"To disrupt the RAM industry by selling absolutely nothing, but doing it with style and confidence."
What We Actually Do (Spoiler: Nothing)
- We pretend to have inventory that doesn't exist
- We quote shipping times from fictional warehouses in Narnia
- We provide customer service from a team of zero trained professionals
- We accept payment methods that lead to the void
- We've never shipped a single product (because we have none)
Our Team
Our staff includes:
- CEO of Nothing: A sentient algorithm named Greg
- VP of Sales: A confused chatbot with an identity crisis
- Customer Support Manager: A rubber duck (very good listener)
- Warehouse Director: The concept of "maybe later"
- Total Employees: 0 (but we're hiring!)
Why Choose Cheap RAM?
- We guarantee the lowest prices (because we charge nothing for nothing)
- Our return policy is legendary (returns don't exist, so there's nothing to return)
- We offer 24/7 customer support (by "support" we mean this website yelling into the void)
- Fast shipping! (Fast to nowhere in particular)
Awards & Recognition (All Made Up)
- π Best E-commerce Site 2026 (Self-awarded)
- π Most Creative Use of Web Space (Bestowed by myself)
- π Best at Pretending (Undisputed champion)
Thanks for visiting our completely fictional store!