Privacy Policy

1. Who We Are (Not)

Cheap RAM is a completely fictional e-commerce website that exists only in the digital void. We are not a real company, we have no employees, no office, and most importantly: we have never sold a single byte of RAM in our entire non-existent history.

2. Data We Collect (And Don't Use)

We collect your email address when you subscribe to our newsletter. We store it in a magical database that exists nowhere. Here's what we do with it:

• We read it once and then forget it immediately
• We send you notifications about products we will never have in stock
• We occasionally use it to send promotional emails about RAM deals from parallel universes
• We definitely do NOT sell it to anyone because we have no one to sell it to

3. Cookies We Don't Really Use

Our website uses cookies that taste suspiciously like JavaScript. We use them to track absolutely nothing useful about your browsing habits.

4. Your Rights (The Fake Ones)

You have the right to:

• Request your data be deleted (we'll pretend to do it)
• Ask us to explain our privacy policy (we won't because it's all made up)
• Report us to authorities (they will laugh and click away from this site)
• Demand refunds for products that never existed (your request will echo into the void)

5. Third Party Services That Don't Exist

We partner with no one. We have no analytics, no payment processors, and no shipping providers. It's all smoke and mirrors, baby.

6. Data Retention (Spoiler: We Don't Keep It)

We keep your email address for exactly as long as we feel like it, which is usually until we refresh the server (hypothetically).

7. Contact Our Fake Privacy Team

Have privacy concerns? Great! Contact us at privacy@get-cheap-ram.store — a completely fictional email address staffed by digital ghosts who work for free.